Well well welllllll

I am counting down the days til I get a vacation from work (13 days). It has been absolutely stressful and I dont like it one bit. I really would love to find a day job, this not sleeping nonsense is really putting a hurtin' on my body. School has been a bit lax this semester which is great, Nutrition is a lot of reading though!
The kids have been doing well, they finally found out what it really means to have things taken away for a period of time. The internet was becoming too much for them to handle, so we arent letting them do that for a while.
Our upstairs exploded again so we are trying to fix that back again. We finally have two bathrooms, woohoo! We painted our bedroom, had carpet installed to replace the yucky stuff we had before. Besides that the house is good.
My RA has been doing okay. The past couple of weeks my hands have been sticking in positions for a few minutes which I am sure is not a good sign. I have been pretty sore and wanting to sleep alot. I have been downing the caffine to keep myself awake and functioning (not good, I know). I am going to have to work on resting more but my work schedule messes me up big time with sleep. Off to nap....

Wow....

I write today out of a mix of emotion. I am sad, confused, angry....just dumbfounded. I realize things change and life changes, most in a positive direction. What are the reactions when someones positive direction turns into a self serving downward spiral? When you have to cut yourself from a person because their self destruction just dissects your heart strings. Even worse when there is children involved. I am not going to get into the situation cause it is not my story to tell, but I can give you an idea of a similar resulting ending.
When I was a teenager I was quiet, I was very agreeable and pretty much did as I was told. When I turned 18 I turned into a wildchild; piercings, tattoos, late nights, and I dropped out of college. My closest friends at the time were very upset with me, they said I had changed. I didnt understand why they felt this way, I felt this is who I always was and I was finally my own person to be able to express that. They eventually stopped talking to me all together, I was sad but happy to be who I was. I never understood their issue with me, until now. A friend went from a loving devoted mother, that worked and was going to college full time, and doted on her child; now is longer like this. Going out drinking on the weekend and sometimes during the week, having unproptected sex, smoking/smoking weed (popping pills), never being to able to be at home with just her child. It is sad, this isnt the mom her child has grown up with. Its not the friend I know. The friend I knew would never do any of this around or near her child, let alone go out and party every weekend. I now know how its feels to lose a friend due to their change, I can not watch people self destruct like that...it may make me a bad friend but I dont know what else to do because I cant be supportive of that kind of behavior. So sad, concerned....

Been too Long...

Alright, I know it has been more than a few months since I posted here (check out http://myfamilysownsuperhero.wordpress.com/ , were I have been posting the past week). I am still undecided as to were I am going to be posting permanently, I will just wait and see how the sites do.

Anyway, things here have been fantastic. My RA is under control as of my last appointment, my inflammation levels are very low. I have been able to get back to a more "normal" life but I still get very tired when I do get outta control.

The kids have been doing great. They only have 1 more day of school left before summer break! AHHHHHH. I am not looking forward to a summer of no sleep :( . I am sure we will manage though. I have some things I would love to do this summer. I just have to get a list started and maybe post it and get some ideas from other moms would be great. I would really like to join a moms group, I need more Mom-type friends here where I live and I need to get out more.

That's all for now, hope to be back soon ;)

Yup, It's Impossible For Me To Get Someone To Understand

Alright, Imma start off by saying that; Yes, I know that unless the other person experiences something they will never fully understand. And, to the person trying to explain will constantly look like a whiny complainer...I desperately would love for those around me to understand, and help validate this RA (sometimes it makes me feel crazy, people really feel like this all the time.)

Complainy time! So today and for the past few days it's been my neck, shoulders, hands, r. hip, both knees and my toes. Especially my knees and hands though. I have a doctors appointment in a few weeks, on the 21st to be exact and I have to get my blood work done. I am nervous about my blood work, I haven't felt super swollen (celebrex really has helped) BUT I have been really sore. I have been getting more sleep and for the past few days eating a lot better...not so much of the processed yuck and I'm taking vitamins. I hope that it gets better...nothing like walking around feeling like various body parts got caught in a slammed door.

But, I guess that the fact that I can still walk, type and function is great. I mean people do have it worse and they do, a lot worse. I can still use all my joints and haven't had any documented damaged besides to my self worth (at times). Life could be harder, but right now it's alright.

Speaking of people having it worse...a guy at work, him and his wife just had a baby and it has to have surgery done soon. The baby's skull fused together, so they have to go in and unfuse it...not sure how that works but wouldn't want to imagine my baby having it's head cracked open. So for them I pray for their kiddo, and remembering life could be worse.

Although we can get swept up in our circumstances, we shouldn't let them consume us. Life will go on...and it does.

OH, oh, oh....and on Monday, no sleep for me. Hubby is having the cable hooked back up and they are coming Monday morning to hook it up. Genius, I am going to be so tired.

What a turkeybird, argh

Im kind of upset today, another complainy post.

I have been feeling slighty down lately...mainly cause I have been really sore and a little swollen. And, I aint getting any sympathy. If I want rest I have to take it, if something needs to be done I have to direct. And, this mama is tired, covered in Voltaren Gel and ready for a nap...literally. My hubby is being an a-hole. He has been keeping his nose in his cell phone and not worrying much about anyone else's needs. Its very frustrating. I would like to kick him in his sensitive patch between his bits, with a sharp toe nail. Yea that is mean Im just tired and moody. 

The weekend has started for everyone, I have work all weekend and not sure if anything else will be getting done. I know cleaning needs done and oh yea, finish Christmas shopping....dont know how I could forget about that (roll my eyes). Im not finished in the least bit...its horrible. I dont even know what to get for anyone...ugh.

Well, after all this brain farting, I am in need of a nap before work.

A While Now...

Lately, I don't feel much like my superhero self. This is going to be a complainy post...just a warning.

I don't really feel like the Christmas mood either. I went to bed last night and slept for 10 hours, got up and got the kids off to school and slept for another 5 hours. I have plenty of things to get done! My laundry is behind, Christmas shopping isn't done, kitchen and bathrooms could be cleaned and the list can go on and on. Life has been very bahumbug here for me lately, no energy what so ever and lots of swelling.

I know for my health what needs to be done...read as follows...I need a good multi-vitamin, I need to do more yoga, eat more whole foods and ditch the processed yuck, drink less coffee (although I don't use sugar anymore), drink more water and move my body in a more cardiovascular workin' kinda way. I know that if I did all of the above that I would feel so much better! Maybe I should change this blog from a perspective of me trying to do everything and to more of a direction of regaining my health and learning the virtue of patience. My RA hasn't been getting along with me so well, and it's mostly cause I haven't been treating my body so well. I guess this is time for change on my part. School is over for the semester next Thursday and doesn't start until the middle of January again. I think it may be a good time to start some simple changes that I can work in slowly but make a habit of doing them. I honestly do wish that the hubby was much more on board with getting healthier and being active, I know it wouldn't be a cure-all but it sure would help me some. So for a while then, I think my blog mission will change to documenting my changes in trying to get healthy again. A good change???

Random BullSh*t

I dropped dinner tonight. I caught a lot of hell for it. Mostly cause no one asked why I dropped it, I just caught a lot of crap for it. Got yelled at. My wrists are sore today and my fingers are a lil' swollen. Which is why I couldn't hold the bowl anymore, it happens. They didn't have to be so mean about it, they weren't in the kitchen making their own dinner.

They didn't ask if I needed help, nothing. So I am sitting here venting, covered in potato soup. Awesome.

I really hope my night gets better. I have work tonight, so it has to get better.

I am really starting to get pretty clumsy here lately...I wonder if this is something I may have to bring up to the doctor, I have been dropping a lot of stuff...ALOT.

Oh, well...time to get ready for work :/